"OMG you're Ruth Ramsay"

".... and Tech Support is here too!"

I’m writing to you from glorious Ibiza this week, but my mind is still partly in last week, buzzing from an epic few days.

My talk at Happier Life Live about vulva confidence went so well, and I’ve had messages all week from attendees saying things like “I’ve just taught my little girl to call hers her vulva, not her ‘bits’ / ‘frou-frou’ / ‘twinkie’ etc…” “Your talk has had a profound impact on how I feel about my body – thank you so much…” and “I’m 51 and I’ve just looked at my vulva in a mirror for the first time in my life!”

Then on Saturday night, my husband Nev aka Tech Support and I were at a Killing Kittens Mansion party. Throughout the evening, people were coming up to me going “OMG, you’re Ruth Ramsay! I did your workshop/course, it changed my life…” “Our marriage is still together thanks to you and we are the happiest we’ve ever been…” “I would never have been confident enough to come here without you and I’m having the time of my life!” I’ve never been recognised like that before… It was surreal, but wonderful to receive such lovely feedback face-to-face.

It was also great to see people thank Tech Support too for all the work he puts in to my workshops running smoothly.

Killing Kittens was a reminder for me of the beauty of sexual energy. Sex parties like KK used to have an upper age limit for attendees and vet potential new members by demanding to see photographs before deciding whether to let them join. Some parties still do this - Nev and I were turned down for one not long ago. I can’t tell you why as the application form said ‘If we reject you, do not enquire why, as you will not hear back from us and we do not consider appeals.’ Their loss!

Looking around the 700-attendee-strong KK Mansion party on Saturday night, which had all sorts of ages and body shapes and sizes in attendance, everyone looked fking amazing. Have you ever known me to swear in a Something For The Weekend? I think it’s a first, and it’s warranted because it’s true! [When I was about 12 years old my Mum said to me, “I don’t want to ever hear you use a swear word… unless it’s deserved”!]

Yes, the ‘red carpet glamour’ dress code helped in the first half of the evening. Guests had gone all-out in amazing dresses and suits. But later on in the playrooms, when those clothes were on the floor (or in the cloakroom), there was no longer corset-waist-boning or flattering dinner jackets to streamline the figures… and it didn’t matter one bit.

I’ve said before, I consider sexual energy to be ageless, bodyless, even I think genderless (I’m still exploring this latter point). When I was a stripper and lapdancer, it fascinated me every time, how at some point especially in a lapdance, that person’s sexual energy would come out to meet mine… and it was radiant. It was free of any rules or constraints pertaining to the body.

I can’t really describe that energy – it’s not that I would actually visually see it as an aura as such, but I’d sense it vividly. It would show in a change of facial expression and an energy in the eyes, too. It was beautiful, and it felt the same whether the person I was dancing for was a fit 21 year old guy, or an elderly gent, or a 30-something woman using a wheelchair.

There was loads of that energy in the Killing Kittens playrooms on Saturday night. Often people wondering about going to a sex party will tell me a big concern is their body confidence and I’ll reply – going to such a party is the exact thing which will boost your confidence no end! You’ll see that when people are genuinely sexually engaged in a safe environment that’s about mutual pleasure, they are ALL gorgeous.

That’s just one benefit of going to such an event, even if you and a partner don’t actually ‘swing’. Yes there are some parties where that is expected, but at KK it’s not at all.

I use ‘walking into the main room of a sex party’ as an example at one point in my workshop How To Feel Confident Naked, which I am running live again on Tuesday 7 May (next week). But the lessons I share also apply alone in one’s own bedroom, as I know some people struggle to not feel self-conscious even alone. I wish those people could see the scenes I saw on Saturday night…

Here’s a link to find out more about the workshop (and remember my lovely paying Substack community get my workshops FREE):

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e...

What’s your biggest worry around your body confidence or being naked? Let me know and I’ll aim to answer it in the workshop.

Now I’m off to enjoy the Ibiza sunshine, and the opportunities it affords to wear far less clothes than in chilly England!  

Ruth